Wanting a hardcore raiding guild? Want to pwn ubar l33t d00dz with your ubar l33t hax in your own guild arena team? Looking to roleplay like the fine-eth members of Reluctance? Well then, you’re looking in the wrong place. We have little to no organization. Emphasis on “no”.

Every now and then we may do some guild events, organized by Kyande. Once in a blue moon, Oxhorn may need extras for his movies. But for the most part, we’re just here to chat and keep each other company. And punt gnomes. While eating pecan pie.

That said, we do have a few guidelines. Consider these dictates from the almighty Invisible Pink Unicorn himself (bhhh), peer reviewed by well respected scientists and published in all the right scholarly journals:

UPDATE: These are our updated guild rules. I am forced to make them more explicit since we have so many members now. The general, over-arching rule of this guild is “Act Civilized”. If you violate this rule, you will be banned by our mighty officers with their magnificent ban hammers of doom. If you need further details on what “Act Civilized” means, here is a helpful list. Note that it may not include everything every human could possibly do or say, and we do assume that you, as a guild member, already know how to act civilized. You are human, after all.

  1. No spamming! This means:
    1. No spamming trade or general chat for cash or mats or anything else.
    2. No spamming guild chat.
    3. No spamming OXHORN with private messages when he logs on!!!
    4. No spamming guild officers with private messages. A few friendly requests or comments every now and then are acceptable.
  2. No vulgarity. A general rule of thumb is that our guild chat is easy-PG-13. This means:
      1. No swearing. If you really have no self control and MUST swear, use Oxhorn’s invented swear words (bloit, blit, chak, flak, grat and wolsh).
        1. No near-swears like placing numbers or symbols in place of vowels. (b1tch, etc).
        2. No abbreviations unless they can work with Oxhorn’s invented swear words. For example, “wtf” is ok (“what the flak?!”).
        3. No “Blizzard Approved” Swears like quoting character names that sound like curse words, or quoting quest dialog that has naughty language. Yeah, I understand the irony in having a language rule in teh game that is more strict than the game itself, but come on, we’re classy people here folks. Self-control ftw.
      1. NO SEX TALK. This includes:
        1. Obvious innuendos. Take heed to the Master of Euphemisms and use a tactful euphemism if necessary.
        2. No talk of sexy body parts. You know the ones I mean. I’m not talking about elbows here.
      1. No toilet humor. This means:
        1. Don’t talk about your biological functions, except for maybe eating, blinking, breathing and sneezing. Even then, we’re really not that interested.
      1. No offensive slurs. This means:
        1. No racial slurs.
        2. No sexual slurs.
  3. I’ll qualify these rules by saying that I hate, loath and detest political correctness, and want everyone in this guild to have the freedom to say things that may potentially be offensive to the thin-skinned. Thus, something like “hippies are ridiculous” or “carnivores are lame” is fine. I draw the line at slurs that slander ethnic, racial and sexual groups.
  4. Just be nice. It’s not that hard. Treat people with kindness and respect, even if you disagree with them. If you are 10, act like you’re 20. If you’re 20 and act like you’re 10, you’re in danger of being ban hammered. Grow up n00b.

Thus endeth the dictates from the IPU (bhhh)! If you disagree with these dictates in any way, we will call you “fringe” and unscientific, maybe even labeling you a creationist, and use our priestly scientific leverage to ban all of your publications from any peer reviewed scholastic journal. You will be come a pariah, probably get fired from your teaching position unless you have tenure, and if you do you will be removed from your teaching position and asked to remain on staff as an “advisor”. You will no longer get graduate students and your very name will be poison if quoted in any scientific article, weakening its authority. You will be forced to write popular science and maybe even start your own BBC documentary series, which will place you squarely outside the bounds of academia forevermore.

These are our updated guild rules. I am forced to make them more explicit since we have so many members now. The general, over-arching rule of this guild is “Act Civilized”. If you violate this rule, you will be banned by our mighty officers with their magnificent ban hammers of doom. If you need further details on what “Act Civilized” means, here is a helpful list. Note that it may not include everything every human could possibly do or say, and we do assume that you, as a guild member, already know how to act civilized. You are human, after all.

  1. No spamming! This means:

    1. No spamming trade or general chat for cash or mats or anything else.

    2. No spamming guild chat.

    3. No spamming OXHORN with private messages when he logs on!!!

    4. No spamming guild officers with private messages. A few friendly requests or comments every now and then are acceptable.

  1. No vulgarity. A general rule of thumb is that our guild chat is easy-PG-13. This means:

    1. No swearing. If you really have no self control and MUST swear, use Oxhorn’s invented swear words (bloit, blit, chak, flak, grat and wolsh).

    2. No near-swears like placing numbers or symbols in place of vowels. (b1tch, etc).

    3. No abbreviations unless they can work with Oxhorn’s invented swear words. For example, “wtf” is ok (“what the flak?!”).

    4. NO SEX TALK. This includes:

      1. Obvious innuendos. Take heed to the Master of Euphemisms and use a tactful euphemism if necessary.

      2. No talk of sexy body parts. You know the ones I mean. I’m not talking about elbows here.

  1. No toilet humor. This means:

    1. Don’t talk about your biological functions, except for maybe eating, blinking, breathing and sneezing. Even then, we’re really not that interested.

  1. No offensive slurs. This means:

    1. No racial slurs.

    2. No sexual slurs.

    3. I’ll qualify this by saying that I hate, loath and detest political correctness, and want everyone in this guild to have the freedom to say things that may potentially be offensive to the thin-skinned. Thus, something like “hippies are ridiculous” or “carnivores are lame” is fine. I draw the line at slurs that slander ethnic, racial and sexual groups.

  1. Just be nice. It’s not that hard. Treat people with kindness and respect, even if you disagree with them. If you are 10, act like you’re 20. If you’re 20 and act like you’re 10, you’re in danger of being ban hammered. Grow up n00b.